Your Reputation Is Already Working—Are You?

Oct 23

Performance gets you noticed. Emotional intelligence determines what people remember.

Think of Someone You Know

Maybe it's a coworker, a manager, or even a public figure. What's the first thing that comes to mind about them?

That instant thought, good or bad, is reputation. It's the image of their behavior, tone, and attitude. And here's the thing: yours is already out there, too, whether you've thought about it or not.

In today's hyperconnected workplace, your reputation forms faster and travels farther than ever. A Slack message. A comment in a meeting. How you showed up (or didn't) when things got messy. It all adds up, and people are taking notes even when you think no one's watching.

Your Reputation Is Your Shadow

Reputation isn't what you say about yourself. It's what people remember after you've left the room.

It's your shadow, following you along after you've moved on to the next role, the next team, the next opportunity. And unlike your résumé, you can't edit it with better formatting or a stronger verb.

Strong reputations are built on consistency, credibility, and character, the stuff that holds up under pressure, transition, and scrutiny. The leaders who get this understand that reputation doesn't retire when the job ends. It continues through the people you've led, the colleagues you've mentored, and the relationships you've built or burned.

What Really Shapes Reputation

Reputation isn't just about being good at your job. It's about how people experience working with you.

You can be the most competent person in the room, but if you're also the one who steamrolls every conversation, dismisses ideas that aren't yours, or melts down under pressure? That competence doesn't get you as far as you think.

Here's what actually sticks:

Your follow-through. Do you do what you say you'll do, or are you the person everyone has to chase down?

How you treat people when you don't need something from them. Are you collaborative, or only when it benefits you? Do you acknowledge contributions or take credit?

Your composure when things go sideways. Do you stay steady, or does everyone brace for impact when you're stressed?

You might think people remember the big wins. They remember how you made them feel while getting there.

The Uncomfortable Truth: Perception vs. Reality

Here's what most mid-level leaders miss: your intentions don't matter as much as your impact.

You might think you're being direct. They hear dismissive.
You might think you're being thorough. They feel micromanaged.
You might think you're advocating for your team. They see you throwing someone under the bus.

Reputation lives in that gap between how you see yourself and how others experience you.

So ask yourself:

What do I think I'm known for?
What might others actually say about me?
Where's the gap?

The most respected professionals close that gap through self-awareness and feedback, not guesswork. And definitely not by assuming everyone else just doesn't get it.

The EQ Connection: Why Smart Isn't Enough

Performance builds credibility. Emotional intelligence sustains it.

EQ is what ensures your competence translates into trust, and your confidence doesn't come off as arrogance. It's the difference between being someone people have to work with and someone they want to work with.

It shows up in how well you recognize how your words and actions land whether you can stay composed when things go sideways. If you can read the room and adjust instead of plowing ahead. How you keep respect intact even when you disagree.

Reputation isn't built through grand gestures. It's built through consistent EQ moments, the small choices you make every single day.

Two Critical Moments in Your Reputation Lifecycle

While You're in the Role:

Every meeting, every email, every reaction is writing your professional narrative. EQ shows up most in conflict, feedback, and how you treat people with less power than you.

People notice when you give credit. They also notice when you don't. They see how you handle being wrong, being challenged, being stressed. That's the stuff that gets talked about long after the project ends.

When You Leave the Role:

People remember how you end things more than how you start them. Graceful exits, expressed gratitude, following through on commitments even when you're halfway out the door—these leave lasting impressions.

Your résumé gets you in the door. Your reputation decides whether it stays open.

When the Shine Wears Off: Repair and Rebuild

We all have off moments. We lose patience. We overreact. We make the wrong call or say something we wish we could take back.

The question isn't whether it happens—it's how you recover.

Repairing reputation requires accountability and humility. Own it early. Apologize sincerely, not in that "I'm sorry you felt that way" kind of way. Then follow through consistently until people believe the course correction is real.

EQ isn't about perfection. It's about regulation, reflection, and repair. The leaders people trust aren't the ones who never mess up, they're the ones who own it when they do.

The Leadership Shadow

As you move into leadership, your shadow grows longer. Your tone sets the emotional temperature for your entire team. Your habits become their habits. Your stress becomes their stress.

The higher you rise, the louder your echo. And here's the part that keeps me up at night as a coach: your team's reputation often mirrors yours.

If you're known as reactive, guess how your team gets described? If you're dismissive of feedback, what do you think your direct reports learn to do?

Your shadow isn't just about you anymore.

A Coaching Perspective

In coaching conversations, I often see leaders underestimate how quickly reputation forms and how slowly it changes.

Here is an example, You say, “I don't understand why my peers don't see me as collaborative. I lead every meeting!"

The problem wasn't effort, it was energy. Your leadership style came across as controlling instead of inclusive. You dominated discussions, cut people off when you thought you knew the answer, and rarely paused to actually hear what others were saying.

Once you learned to pause, invite others in, and manage your tone, everything shifted. Your work didn't change. Your reputation did.

That's the power of self-awareness. You can't change what you don't see.

Your Reputation Is Your Legacy-in-Progress

Your reputation is already working, whether you're paying attention to it or not.

So here's the question worth sitting with:

"Who am I known as right now, and is that who I want to be?"

Not who you were three jobs ago. Not who you think you are in your head. Who you are right now, in the way people experience you every day.

Clarity helps you understand your impact.
Purpose keeps you intentional.
Impact ensures your shadow is one worth following.

The good news? You're still writing the story. But only if you're willing to see what's actually on the page.