The Fall Communication Reset: Is Your Style Still Working?
Fall Is a Natural Reset
Summer tends to loosen things up:
Vacations and changing schedules
Fewer people around
More casual conversations
Different routines
Less structure
Nothing wrong with that.
But fall has always had a little “back to school” energy, even when you haven’t been in school for decades.
As schedules settle down and everyone gets back into their routines, this is a good time to ask:
How am I communicating, and is it working for the people around me? Has it slipped and taken on summer mode?
This week, let’s do a quick communication reset.
“Although people sit in the same room or discuss the same topic, they interpret what they hear in radically different ways and draw very different conclusions. ”
Your Communication Style Is Showing
We all have preferences for how we communicate. They show up in things like:
How quickly we want to get to the point
How much detail we want
Whether we think out loud or think before speaking
How comfortable we are with disagreement
How much context we need before making a decision
Whether we focus first on the task or the people involved
Most of the time, we’re not consciously choosing these things.
We just communicate.
And that’s where problems start.
What feels perfectly clear to you may not feel clear at all to the person sitting across from you.
The Communication Trap
We tend to communicate with other people the way we prefer to be communicated with. And then both people walk away wondering what is wrong with the other person.
You like the bottom line, so you give someone the bottom line. But they need context.
You like having all the details, so you give someone everything you know. They’re three minutes into the conversation wondering, Can you just tell me what you need?
You like to think before responding, so you stay quiet. They interpret your silence as disengagement.
You process by talking things through. They wonder why you’re still talking when they thought the decision had already been made.
None of these are wrong. Nobody necessarily communicated badly. They’re communicating differently.
Awareness Comes Before Adjustment
Before you can adapt your communication, you need to understand your own defaults.
A framework or tool that I use in coaching and training is the DISC model.
DISC looks at four broad behavioral styles: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness.
For example:
D: Get to the point. What’s the goal?
I: Let’s talk. What’s happening? Who’s involved?
S: Give me some context and time. How will this affect everyone?
C: Give me the information. How do we know this is the right approach?
Nobody fits neatly into one little box. That’s not the point. The value is recognizing patterns.
We all use behaviors associated with each of these styles. But most of us have some that feel more natural and require less effort than others. And those tendencies can become even more noticeable when we’re under pressure.
The Real Skill Is Flexing
This is where the leadership/coaching piece gets stronger.
Understanding your style isn’t particularly useful if all you do with it is announce:
“Well, that’s just how I communicate.” Okay. But is it working?
That’s awareness without adjustment.
The real skill is being able to flex your approach based on what the situation and the other person require.
You don’t have to become someone else.
You may just need to:
Get to the point faster.
Slow down and provide more context.
Give someone time to process.
Ask more questions before offering your solution.
Provide the details someone needs.
Spend two minutes connecting before diving into the task.
Flexing your communication style isn’t being inauthentic. That’s leadership. It’s recognizing that communication is supposed to work for both people.
Your Fall Communication Reset
Reflect: When communication is working well for you, what are you naturally doing?
Assess: Where do you find yourself getting frustrated with how someone else communicates? What might they need that you’re not giving them?
Engage: Choose one person this week and intentionally flex your communication style to better meet them where they are. What will you do differently?
Discover Your Communication Style
Want to understand your communication style a little better?
Not sure where to start? My free 5-Day DiSCovery Email Course will introduce you to the four DISC styles. Start the course
Already familiar with DISC and want to understand your own style? A personalized Extended DISC® assessment and one-on-one debrief Get Started
