Stop Managing Everyone the Same Way
Your top performer just became quiet in meetings. Your reliable team member is suddenly missing deadlines. Your go-to person seems checked out. What's your next move?
If you're thinking about having a direct conversation to understand what's really happening in their world, you're already thinking like a coach, and that's exactly what great managers do.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
Here's a stat that should grab your attention: managers influence at least 70% of the variability in employee engagement scores. That means your approach as a manager has more impact on whether your team thrives or just survives than almost any other factor in your organization.
And the stakes are high. Currently, 51% of employees are disengaged at work, with 13% actively disengaged, meaning they're not just checked out, they're spreading negativity. But here's the flip side: employees whose leaders show concern for their well-being are 3X more likely to be engaged.
The difference between these outcomes often comes down to one simple concept: meeting employees where they are.
What Does "Meeting Employees Where They Are" Actually Mean?
In coaching, we use this phrase constantly. It means tuning into what someone needs right now, not forcing them into a cookie-cutter approach. For managers, it's about understanding your employees' current reality, their energy level, life circumstances, career goals, and challenges, so you can support them effectively.
Meeting employees where they are doesn't mean lowering your standards. It means recognizing their current reality so you can help them reach those standards in a way that works for them.
The Core Principles That Make This Work
Start with Empathy and Compassion: Every employee's circumstances are unique. Leading with empathy creates psychological safety, the foundation for honest communication and engagement.
Flex Your Communication Style: Some people process information better in face-to-face conversations. Others prefer time to think and respond via email. Some need details; others want the big picture first. Pay attention to what works for each person.
Personalize Your Support: Development isn't one-size-fits-all. The stretch assignment that excites one employee might overwhelm another. The mentoring that helps one person grow might feel like micromanaging to someone else.
Build Trust as Your Foundation: Only 22% of employees believe their leaders are effective at creating an engaging environment. Employees will only engage if they believe you're competent, honest, and genuinely have their back.
Master Active Listening: Pay attention to what's said, and what isn't. Changes in energy, body language, or participation often tell you more than words do.
How to Put This Into Practice Starting This Week
Schedule Regular One-on-Ones (And Use Them Right: Don't just talk about task updates. Ask about career aspirations, current challenges, and what support they need. Make these conversations a safe space for honest feedback.
Ask Direct Questions and Actually Listen: Try: "What do you need from me this week to make your job easier?" or "What's one thing that would help you perform at your best right now?" Then resist the urge to immediately problem-solve. Listen first.
Offer Multiple Paths for Growth: Mix up your development resources: online courses, mentoring relationships, stretch projects, cross-training opportunities. Different people learn and grow in different ways.
Respect Different Work Styles: Some employees thrive in brainstorming sessions; others do their best thinking alone. Some want frequent check-ins; others prefer autonomy. Adjust your management style to match their optimal working conditions when possible.
Position Yourself as a Resource, Not a Roadblock: Ask yourself: "Am I making my employees' jobs easier or harder?" Focus on clearing barriers instead of creating approval processes. Be someone your team wants to come to with problems, not someone they avoid.
The Bottom Line
Meeting employees where they are isn't about coddling; it's about calibrating. You're not lowering the bar; you're giving people the best chance to reach it. And when they do, you get the bonus of higher engagement, better performance, and a team that actually wants to follow your lead.
The research backs this up: engaged employees show a 57% improvement in discretionary effort and a 20% improvement in individual performance. Those aren't small numbers; they're game-changers for your team's results.
Try This Week: In your next one-on-one, skip straight to the project updates. Instead, start with: "What do you need from me this week to make your job easier?" or “What are you concerned or nervous about this week?” Then listen, really listen, to the answer. You might be surprised how small shifts in your approach can create big changes in engagement and performance.
““It’s okay to admit what you don’t know. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s more than okay to listen to the people you lead – in fact, it’s essential.””
Let us know how your conversations went. We would love to hear from you.
